PLAIN BUT NOT SO SIMPLE
A WORLD OF YOUR OWN MAKING
Possible Seasons that Could Cross Your Path as a Mom
- Hopes and Dreams or Not: The Getting Pregnant
- My Body: Being Pregnant
- What: Delivery and Beyond
- Parenting the Adult: Wishing that they had continued to write the “What to expect” Series
- Plan Anyway, Learning Flexibility: When (not if) all plans go awry
- And After: Transitioning into finding your self, when the nest goes empty-ish
It was once said of me that I should never be a mother. It was a college administrator who was speaking to my parents. I can’t remember under what circumstances they thought it profitable to tell me, probably it was my mother as she watched me fumble my way through. I can imagine the conversation. “Well, you know… so and so did once say blah blah blah.”
I was the least likely to step into motherhood. Nobody ever thinks that when they hear that I have six individuals who came forth from my body. But now….. beyond a quarter of a century from when I was first pregnant, twenty-four years into actually parenting and all that has filled those hours and days, months and decades, I want to hold space for us all.
I remember the first time I was in labor, I remember knowing that my body was going to keep going until it was done. I remember feeling out of control. That was a feeling I would feel for a very long time and still feel, the wheels of life continue to go around. Every season from infancy to adulthood; from being able to get pregnant and not being able to get pregnant, being pregnant and not wanting to be pregnant, having sick kids and healthy ones, young children and ones that crossed the threshold into adulthood.
We are taught how to breathe as part of our preparation for labor. I have come to believe that those lessons are actually meant to serve us for the rest of our lives.
I was not one who ever dreamed of motherhood.
I felt lost along the way. No Hansel or Gretel bread crumbs to follow could be found. It is why I am writing here, Beautiful Chaos. Our paths are different, yet perhaps a 1/4 of a century of stories could be meaningful. Maybe the time a pop-warner football coach brought a gun to the game could be a good story to share just in case you have come across such a moment. While, that is hopefully very unlikely; there are plenty of stories to share. Just one note… while the stories of our lives as mothers contain other people, I want to focus on me. I want to focus on me, primarily for two reasons while there maybe more (for those “more” I will need to ask permission.) That need to ask is number one reason, I will not carefully or carelessly share the stories of my children. They will give their permission or I will not share. Secondly, I think as moms so much of our lives revolve around our kids and as moms we look for blogs or books or webinars to tell us HOW to do something. I don’t want to share stories to tell you how to do something, I want to tell you stories so that perhaps within the experience and articulation of them you won’t feel so alone.
That is why I finally stepped into including MOTHERHOOD into Living Mangaliso. My mission for including MOTHERHOOD into the topics of that which we hold here, is to help curb the loneliness of motherhood. Plan and simple and not so simple…. here we step.