This morning I was doing my practice. I was standing on my mat. I was watching the sunrise. “THIS IS ME,” from The Greatest Showman came on the playlist. I began to weep. The journey getting here, to this place, has been a straight up climb. Moments have caused a pause upon my soul. This morning the lyrics , “this is who I am meant to be,” followed by I make no apologies landed upon me with force.
Breaking free from spiritual abuse has been exhausting at times. Grueling. I want to be a safe place for others. A business assignment for my yoga therapy training continues to be the board from which I leap. Merging my “titles,” Spiritual Director/Trauma Informed Breath and Body Specialist with Yoga Therapist in training; answering the question, who is the person who walks through my door?
It is the brave.
It is the bruised.
It is the one who is ready to say, THIS IS ME!
I’m not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
‘Cause we don’t want your broken parts
I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one will love you as you are
It has been a journey.
Arrived on the scene feeling like I was already buried.
So much ground to break through before I even could breathe fresh breath.
But I won’t let them break me down to dust
I know that there’s a place for us
For we are glorious
I’ve tasted dust.
That chalking taste in my mouth.
My tutors, they have been. The darkness, the dust, the scars, their words, they have been my tutors.
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me
Look out ’cause here I come
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me
Friends kissed my cheek as their mouths shouted the words, “Heretic.”
Time has moved around a clock.
Time has moved around a calendar.
Time has shifted.
Time has healed and there is still healing needed.
Time has made me certain.
Those first footprints away, were the most potent.
I dedicate my spiritual direction practice to those saying, “THIS IS ME.”
I dedicate my trauma informed yoga practice to those saying, “THIS IS ME.”
I am becoming a yoga therapist. I dedicate that practice to those saying, “THIS IS ME.”
Have you heard?
HIDE YOUR SCARS.
NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU AS YOU ARE.
THERE’S A PLACE FOR YOU!